3rd January

I give up. I can’t fight anymore. I’m not strong enough. I give up. He can do what ever He wants to me, it won’t make a difference. I should have quit fighting ages ago. Maybe then I wouldn’t hurt so much now. I haven’t seen my family for so long and I’m never going to see them again. I’m never going to see Mum or Dad or Jamie Bug or Grandma James or even Grandma Stevens ever again. . All though I’ll probably see Grandma S in hell. My friends will probably have forgotten me by now. I can’t even remember what they look like anymore. They’re gone, in my head, gone like they were never there. Never real. I sometimes think they were all just a dream and this is all I’ve ever known. None of the good stuff was really real, I just dreamed it up. I can’t dream anymore. He won’t let me. He gets inside my head and chases it all away, even the sunset. The sunset is gone. There’s just grey now. I see grey every where, my head, my skin, my sack dress, the floor, the chains. Him. It’s all grey. That’s all that’s left. All the other colours are dead, like me. Dead, dead, dead. All dead.