11th January

He came down again, but I didn’t ask Him about her. I didn’t say anything. He kind of did that smile thing of His like He knows some secret. It’s like He’s laughing at me. He didn’t say anything so neither did I. When He left I tried to talk to her again and I think I heard her say something to me or maybe she was crying or something. I tried to tell her it was all right, that I understood, but I don’t think she was listening. I’ll keep trying though. Maybe one day she’ll come to trust me, tell me who she is, where she’s from. I just hope she’s not a kid, cause that’d mean she’ll suffer the same as me, and I don’t think I could handle that. I know that sounds selfish but that’s how I feel. I think the guilt would do me in as nothing else has. But at least I have someone to talk to, to share my hell with. Even if she never talks back, at least I know I’m not alone anymore.