12th January

The thing is starting to hurt me. It makes my body ache. I seem to be stretching in all different directions at once, and my body doesn’t like it any more than I do. I told her all about it, about how and when and all. But she didn’t say anything as usual. . I tried to explain it so she wouldn’t think I was bad, but I couldn’t tell her everything, she’s just a kid. At least I think so. Anyway, I told her I didn’t want it, but that I didn’t have much choice, any choice really. And I told her about stuff. Just stuff I sometimes think about. Like my family and friends and school and stuff. I told her about how I woke up here, and I asked her how she got here. She didn’t answer. I told her about Jamie and how we all call him Jamie Bug. I asked her about her family and friends. About life. And I asked her about colours. I think she thinks I’m kind of strange. I tried to explain that too, but it just didn’t come out right. I mean how do you tell people that you can’t remember colours. Not red or green or yellow or blue. That you can’t even see colours any more. Even your own blood is grey. It just sounds wrong. It doesn’t make sense. But I hope she understood. Or maybe it would be better if she didn’t. Less scary.