6th August (I suppose)

I’m so tired. I’m so tired. I’m so tired. Why won’t He let me sleep?! 2 days I’ve been awake or maybe 3, I don’t know. I’m not even hungry any more. I’ve been hungry since I got here but now I’m not. I think that’s a bad sign, I should be so hungry it hurts but maybe I’ve been here too long and am getting used to not eating right. Maybe my stomach has finally shrunk, I don’t know. Not that it matters since there’s no one here to appreciate my new figure. I don’t think I even care anymore anyway. I just want to sleep and not dream. Dreaming hurts too much. I see them in my mind and I start to think I’m home again. Then I wake up and it hurt’s so bad I just want to die but I can’t cause then Jamie will cry and it hurts when he cries, it makes me cry. But I can’t cry now, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to cry again. I wish I could, then maybe it wouldn’t hurt so much anymore. But my tears dried up a long time ago. Dead girls don’t cry.