10th August

I’m so hot and so cold. I think I’m sick. Maybe I’m finally dying. Maybe that’s the only way I’ll ever get out of here, or maybe He’ll leave me down here to rot like a piece of garbage. Maybe He already has. Maybe He’s gone and left me here, maybe I’ll just fade away down here and no one will ever find me. Maybe I’m already dying. Maybe I’m already dead. Wouldn’t that be a kick in the pants. Maybe baby the time has come to say goodbye but do not cry the time is right today tonight I will not fight it’s time to die. I’m all alone here in the dark but I don’t know if that’s a good thing. I don’t want to die alone. He’s finally left me in peace but I feel scared. It doesn’t make sense. All He does is hurt me and now I want Him to come back. Jamie I wish you could sing for me, you sing so nice, you always made me feel better, I miss your smiles and hugs , God I miss you Jamie. I’m sorry I made you cry, cause I know you did, I did too. I love you Jamie Bug. And I’m so sorry. Please forgive me.