6th December

Why did this have to happen to me? I’m not a bad person. I’m not. I didn’t do anything wrong, did I? I never even saw Him before. He was just a stranger, just like Mum and Dad warned me about when I was just a kid. Why couldn’t they have kept warning me? Didn’t they care? Didn’t they love me anymore, now that I’m grown up? Am I too old to be love now that I’m not all young and cute and cuddly like Jamie is? God Jamie, I hope you never get too big to be loved. I hope they never stop loving you. And I hope they never stop warning you about strangers. I hope you are always safe and warm and loved at home. The thing is moving, I think. I wish it weren’t, I wish it were dead. I wish I could wake up and find it’s all been a really bad dream. I wish the shaking wake up first thing were Jamie waking me up instead of Him. I need you Jamie, to come and shake me awake.