2nd December

He hit me again, this time more and worse than before, but still not enough o fix the problem, unfortunately. I’ve been taking stock of my past and present injuries. I’m a mess. I can feel where He broke bones in my cheeks, I can see them in my hands, and I can still feel them in the rest of my body. Lots of scars too. Good thing I don’t have a mirror, I’d hate to see what I look like. What would Mum and Dad think? I’d scare Jamie too. It’s his birthday soon. Just another 5 weeks. January 10th. He’ll be 7. Oh shit, I want to cry so much it hurts. Everything hurts. It’s not hormones. It’s not. I just miss him so much. I want to be home with them so much it hurts in my heart. I try not to think about them, cause that’s when it hurts the most. But lately I just keep thinking about peaches and tomatoes and hamburgers. And now my mouth is starting to water. Life is so unfair.